For the last month my PC has been screaming like a banshee that caught her boyfriend making time with her sister. Which has really been annoying me over the past week or so as I have just started watching Lost from the beginning now that its in its final season. Lost much to my annoyance uses silence as a suspense tool. Which I think is just them being too cheap to fork out for a good piece of suspense music, but it doesn’t change the fact that you seem to spend a good amount of time straining your ears to hear that rustle of a bush or snap of a twig.

Due to the screaming that my PC makes, this is rather difficult, and yesterday I finally cracked it and pulled it apart trying to work out why. The Vid Card was my first point of call, and while there was a bit of dust stuck in the blades of the impeller design fan that it used this was easily removed with the vacuum cleaner hose attachment. I then had a good scrub of the PSU fan intake and exhaust.

I then moved on to the CPU fan. Which I believed to be the culprit. Since I built the machine back on ’05, I don’t think I had done anything more vigorous that just stick the vacuum hose on top of the fan blades and giggle as it made the fan spin. So I unbolted the fan and levered it off. Which was instantly follow by a brown stained shorts creating moment when I realised I had also levered the CPU out of it mounting bracket due to the thermal paste’s might of holding +1000 ability. A very close inspection showed no bent pins and the gaping green pieces of PCB that I could see were designed into the Socket 939 chipset and not the remnants of where I had ripped some out.

By now my heart beat had returned to something close to normal, so I carefully levered the CPU off the heatsynch base and stuck it back in the socket. This freed me up to inspect the heatsynch closer and it was then that I realised that my giggle laden vacuum hose sucking efforts (wow that could be taken the wrong way!) had been exceedingly less effective that I had imagined.

The top inch and a half of the heat synch fins were impacted with dust, a solid layer of it. The base of the fins also had another layer, this one only about half an inch. So when you consider the entire assembly sans fan is about 2 and a half inch’s tall. That’s a buttload of space which should have currents of air being sucked through to cool those fins, rather than suffocate those airways and have a semi insulation effect so that it acts more like a goose down duvet.

It took me a good 40 minutes to clean it out, during which time the batteries on the swiffer spinning anti static duster died. TWICE. The vacuum cleaner ironically overheated and stopped working. And I blew air through my mouth so many times that my cheeks started to hurt. But I eventually got it all out. There is a base coat still on everything but unless I break out a wire pipe cleaner or brush it aint going anywhere.

I then spent about 5 minutes swearing at two little plastic clips which I at the same time was working carefully not to break, yet wished with all my heart for their destruction and the long and painful death of their designer. These clips were for the CPU heatsynch mount to lock itself to the mobo. MOST. RETARDED. DESIGN. EVER!

The PC is now whisper quiet again, and I can hear Lost in all its glory. Which in many ways has become more annoying that the assut to my ear drums that the CPU fan used to be.

I have just started in on series three and have to say that the sh!t going down with the “Others” is very interesting. Yet I am constantly amazed and extensivly frustrated the reason that so much bad stuff happens is because no one tells each other the full story. Or even half of it. Its like they get some sort of perverse sexual pleasure by withholding information from one another. “Yeah withholding info killed those people, whoopsies I should have told you earlier when you were asking me about that really important thing that I knew could have killed people. Who’d have thunk it?”

Have to say that I am very happy with my decision to stop watching it until the end was in sight because id have blown my stack multiple times if I had been watching it weekly like everyone else. Because the writers seem to have deliberatly gone out of their way to demonstrate in multiple situations and painstaking detail how retarded their characters truly are. The only way they could end the show on a good note from some of the things I have seen, is to make sure everyone dies so I can breath a sigh of reliefe that there si no chance of their stupidity entering into the fictional TV gene pool.

Anthony