While i wont say i have expereinced pain worse than childbirth. I will say i have come as close as any man can get!

It never rains but pours.

Either i have done something to seriously piss off someone up stairs. Or i am putting myself on the path for a Darwin award. But either way i have been tested, and my friends i can tell you this now. A lesser man would have failed.

Last week i had a run in with the pizza that had roasted birdseye chillies on it. I managed to screw myself over by picking the chillies off the pizza to eat them, and then rubbed the inside of my eye lid to deal with an eye irritation. I did also have a synthetic tears compound on my finger at the time. But i also had the residual capsaicin from the roasted chillies on that finger too. Simply put i spent half an hour wishing i was dead, and cursing how stupid i was and wondering if i got a plastic spoon and scraped the inner layer of skin off the inside of my eye lid would i get some relief. But just now, i have managed to follow it up, in an even more awe inspiring act of stupidity.

I went shopping for dinner on my way home tonight, and i decided to give chillies another chance, and being the big dumb bastard that I am i figured i may as well give the birdseye chilli another go to. To show that there were no hard feelings you see. Well i tell you! There may not have been before, but as god as my witness there are now, and by god and all that is holy i will have my vengeance.

Dinner. Chicken, basil, chillies, classic tofu, soy sauce, sugar, salt, garlic and steamed rice. Fairly basic. I de-seeded the chillies figuring that i should ease back into things as much as i could with these babies. Prep all the other ingredients, and whip up the dish. To finish things off i garnish with a few more chopped de-seeded chillies. I then consume the dish, and while there was some heat there i pushed through it, and congratulated myself on making my chilli comeback.

This is where i was brought low for the first time tonight, but sadly not the last nor the worst. Because as i took off my glasses to give them a bit of a clean my thumb touched just under my eyelid. i didn’t think anything of it, it barely registered in my consciousness. A minute or two later i scratched an itch which had appeared under my eye. BAM!!!! I just touched off another fucking nuke on my face. I have for all intents and purposes just pepper sprayed myself. AGAIN.

But this time, it wasn’t so bad. Id been here before, and unlike last time i knew there was an end. It wouldn’t be quick and i knew id be in pain for a time to come. But it would pass. Unlike last time i went without the desk thumping, and head banging. I just got very zen, and kept saying to myself, this too shall pass. Occasionally wiping away the tears that my body betrayed me with. I made a point of washing my hands a few times so as not to have a second incident, and settled in to ride out the pain.

Eventually it passed and all i could do was sit there and laugh at myself. TWICE! TWICE! I had stitched myself up twice in less than a week. Oh what a rube i was. What a maroon. Oh haha ha. Fuck i was so naive.

After recovering for two hours, i found myself on the couch watching a Rick Stein travel food show. Curries was its theme. I sat there absently watching the show, just taking pleasure in being pain free, and floating on the cloud of endorphins that flooded my body in response to the pain from earlier. Then i did something which i will regret for the rest of my life.

I had an itch, and just like any other typical bloke i scratched it. No big deal.

Sadly, it was a big deal, a very very very VERY big deal.

Because i had scratched an itch on a rather private part of me, and i had attended to that itch thoroughly. You honestly can not conceiveof the pain i suddenly found myself in, unless you have some how managed to set fire to your own balls. If you have managed that, then you have my sympathies, because i too have felt your pain.

Sadly my zen approach did not do me much good this time. Chanting “This too shall pass” as you feel like someone has dipped the most sensitive bits of you into acid, just doesn’t do a fucking thing. In fact it pissed me off. Because the instant reaction when you are hurt down there is to cup it, and protect it form any further damage. But that is exactly the wrong thing to do in this instance. So i spent most of the last 45 minutes fighting nature, and keeping my hands off myself. Its amazing the clarity of thought you can achieve when your mind is being dominated by a pure burst of agony which truly feels as if it will never end. Seconds seem to stretch out to hours.

It meant i had plenty of time to think about what i had done, what this meant about my previously assumed level of intelligence, and also if pain persisted, would i have to head down to the hospital and have to try and explain to some intern exactly what i had done to myself.

Thankfully it has begun to pass. Enough for me to see through the tears, and focus on writing this post to keep my mind focused on something other than the pain. I know this has been a rather long post, but things have now started to become more dull and uncomfortable rather than the torture of the last hour, which is a massive improvement.

Tomorrow on the way to work I’m buying a lottery ticket because surely my luck needs to change now. Other than being hit by a train i cant see how i could go though something worse.

Shifting Priorities

Yesterday i spent an inordinate amount of time shopping. Normally this is an activity that i will go to great lengths to avoid. At times i have even faked being sick, even if that means i must suffer the consequences of being sick. In the instance of pretending to have tummy problems this means not eating anything other than vegemite soup and toast for a few days. What is vegemite soup you ask?

It is a horror beyond compare. Imagine if you will the wonderfully divisive substance known as Vegemite. Now i personally like the stuff, which isn’t much of a shock considering that I am an Aussie. But Vegemite soup is something else all together. The ingredients for Vegemite soup are fairly simple, 250ml of hot water, and 1 tablespoon of Vegemite. Stir the Vegemite through the hot water until it has dissolved. Then serve.

Truly horrendous. So when i say that i hate shopping enough to escape it by inflicting Vegemite soup on myself i think you can get a sense of exactly how much i hate it. But yesterday i was out running around from 9:30 AM until 3 PM and apart from a few isolated incidents the time was spent in search of a list of particular items. Those items i was searching for were a rug of a suitable size to cover up a cat5 network cable which stretches across a hallway, a cake knife, and a microplane. Wouldn’t be all that hard to find you would think? WRONG!!!

After visiting two knife specialist retail shops, two department stores and one kitchen outlet store it became apparent that no one understands the concept of a bakers knife, also known as a cake knife. But as soon as you say bakers knife people instantly think “bread knife.” Which is not correct. Long story short i managed to find what i was looking for, that being a knife with a blunt tip a serrated edge which used a scalloped form of serration and that had on overall length in excess of 10cm. The one i found and ended up buying was actually called a ham knife, and only one side was was actually beveled with a cutting face not unlike a Japanese sushi knife. I suppose you could use it to carve up ham, but my one never will.

The Microplane was a bit easier but i was blown away by how much people were trying to charge for this little wonder. Topping out at 50 bucks, and going down to about 30. I suppose its because of brand name rather than functionality, but when it comes to kitchen equipment at times it pays to buy the real thing rather than a knock off. I am pretty sure that this thing will be with me for quite a number of years and the only way i would buy another is if i lose this one in a move.

The rug however was a pure cast iron bitch. The reason i needed a rug was to cover a network cable stretching across a hallway to my xbox 360 from my router. The reason i am using the network cable and not just using wireless is because im sick of playing a game and then having the wireless drop the connection and i disconnect. Why is this so important now compared to before? Because about a month ago i bought a new TV. A new 50 inch plasma tv which i still have to stop myself from calling “my precious” and caressing it in inappropriate ways.

 I’ll post a entry just about it and my plans in the very near future. Suffice to say they are extensive and expensive. Anyway long story short to connect the xbox to the router i have to stretch the network cable across the main hall. I have it in a trip guard strip but rather than just have that out in the middle of the main hall i was told i needed to cover it with a rug. The hallway isn’t a standard width, and because of the unfortunate placement of a book case the rug has to go on an angle.

I have gone to 8 different carpet/rug stores. where only three rugs were found that met the criteria. However the cheapest was 170 bucks. To custom make a rug it would be cheaper but the time for deliver was measured in weeks rather than minutes or hours. This i was told was totally unsuitable. So 170 bucks later we had a rug.  In between all this searching i managed to squeeze in about 10 minutes to go to a video games sale where i picked up Assassins Creed 2, and Halo ODST at heavily discounted prices. All up i spent less than 90 bucks. I have started playing through ODST, as i fully intend to trade it in for Red Dead Redemption, once i have completed the single player campaign, as i am only interested in it for how it expands on the Halo story, rather than anything else.

So far i have become rather annoyed with how dark everything is. There is an enhanced view mode which helps to an extent, but tbh. They really could have done better work with the shaders rather than just making everything black when you are walking through the city street of a megalopolis in the year 2550. Im fairly sure by that time the human race will have worked out how to sufficiently light their city streets for the evenings. Beyond that i am a little disappointed in that it doesn’t match the preview movies which showed you being guided by signs and lights and TV screens through the streets avoiding patrols and what not, by some unknown entity. At the moment i feel like im playing more of a gun nut detective following the footsteps of other members of my combat drop team and their actions.

Will have to see how it goes. It can still very easily live up to my ideal. Just have to see how it plays out.

Anyway the whole purpose of this post was to express how my priorities have shifted because when i used the microplane today it was like those moments in the movies with the hallelujah song suddenly burst from nowhere. I was greeting some parmesan to go into my breakfast omelet and it was like i was grating butter, and the parmesan flakes looked just like snow the way they were floating down into the bowl as i shaved that block of cheese. It was a fricking miracle. Now had this been two years ago id have wanted to kick my own arse for feeling like this and then wanting to tell the world. But now all i want to do is spread the gospel that is the wonder of the Microplane.

Recently i have become much more focused on the mechanics behind making good food and i am sure that i will be sharing more things about this with you all in more depth in the future. I can think of no better way to demonstrate the fact that i have undergone a rather large shift in priorities than the fact that this last month, i have spent more time looking up food related items on the Internet than i have looking at porn. Shocking i know.

Im gettin old. Thats the only thing i can think of that explains it.


How do you know when you are truely sick?

When the physical urge to fart, brings a stab of sheer terror into your mind that this time you wont make it to the bathroom, and end up spraying your shorts with the contents of your bowel.

Trust me on this one folks. I’ve been living it for the last two day’s and I honestly doubt i will ever be able to fart again without breaking out in a light sweat. The cause for my most recent close and personal acquaintance with my commode is not certain. I have narrowed it down to either a bad Bacon and Egg wrap (Say it ain’t so!) or a very bad reaction to a couple of No Doze pills. They being the only non-standard things i ingested on Monday, which lead to the night from hell and the following day of woe.

In between visits to my private porcelain sanctuary, i managed to knock off season 2 of Breaking Bad. A rather witty and at times comical view into the life of a man who is a high school chemistry teacher, whose only goal it to just sell some drugs to make enough money to provide for his family after he dies of cancer. It has the guy who played the father in Malcolm In The Middle. At times you see that character in this, but the most of the time he is someone else entirely. Mainly a pissed off drug producer who takes two steps back for every step forward.You quite often feel sorry for the guy as he is a total failure as a merchant of death.

Well worth a try if you ever have the time. Not that i would recommend blocking out your calendar the way I did.


How Embarrassment.

A few years ago i head a joke which to this day still makes me smirk when i think about it. Its a little long but stick with it, its worth it.

A man is walking down main street on Sunday afternoon and passes a bar, he decides to go in to have a beer while he reads the Sunday paper. On entering he thinks to himself that they are playing some great music, and its pretty loud, but that’s ok.  He goes to the bar, grabs the attention of the guy behind it and orders a frosty one. While he waits for it to arrive he looks around and notices that there are a few people in there but its not packed. As he turns back, the bartender puts down in front of him a cold mug filled with the amber nectar of  the gods. He takes a sip and starts reading his paper. Suddenly as he is reading the sports section, he is struck with a sharp pain in his gut, but much to his relief. He realises that it wasn’t last nights peperoni and mushroom pizza visiting its revenge on him. It was just the mother of all farts making its way to his bung hole.

Looking around he see’s that no one is really near him , and the music is still pretty loud. So he decides to fart in time to the chorus so no one would be the wiser to what he was doing. The song plays and he is pretty good at timing the farts, only once or twice did he have to pinch them off as the song changed or it got to a quiet melody. He eventually finished his beer and decided to head off home shortly afterwards. As he steps out of the bar a friend of his bumps into him and say’s hello, but the music from the bar was still too loud, and he shouts this to his friend.

Who then reachs up to the sides of his head and takes out the ipod earphone’s stuck in his ears. The only sound he then heard was everyone in the bar killing themselves laughing.

I cant help it, it still makes me laugh. Anyway, this brings me to something that happened to me today.

I was leaving a meeting and talking to one of the other people who had been in it, discussing some action points which we needed to follow up on as a result of the meeting. I walked towards the lift well so i could go back to my floor and was pretty deep into our conversation. The lift arrived and while still talking to my colleague I backed into it, and hit the button for my floor. The doors closed and i took a moment for myself.

By this i mean i let rip a series of giant reverbarating farts which i had been holding in for half of the meeting, for fear of gassing everyone in the room. It felt great to finally release the pressure. Now one of the things i have done ever since a little child is to make like im pulling on a steam whistle or truck horn chain when i am alone and letting a big one rip. I think its because i used to say “Toot toot” at the same time when i was little as a joke or something.

So with my hand in the air mid pretend whistle/truck horn pull i hear over the sound of my not so little motor, someone cough, and it fucking wasn’t me.

I turn arround and there ladies and gentleman, i swear to you, was the COO of our company. I quickly smiled at him, gave a little nod, straightned up, said excuse me, turned back to the doors just as they opened on to a floor and got out of that fucking elevator.

All the while my internal monologue voice was screaming.


I’m not liking my bonus chances as much as i did yesterday.


Spring Cleaning.

For the last month my PC has been screaming like a banshee that caught her boyfriend making time with her sister. Which has really been annoying me over the past week or so as I have just started watching Lost from the beginning now that its in its final season. Lost much to my annoyance uses silence as a suspense tool. Which I think is just them being too cheap to fork out for a good piece of suspense music, but it doesn’t change the fact that you seem to spend a good amount of time straining your ears to hear that rustle of a bush or snap of a twig.

Due to the screaming that my PC makes, this is rather difficult, and yesterday I finally cracked it and pulled it apart trying to work out why. The Vid Card was my first point of call, and while there was a bit of dust stuck in the blades of the impeller design fan that it used this was easily removed with the vacuum cleaner hose attachment. I then had a good scrub of the PSU fan intake and exhaust.

I then moved on to the CPU fan. Which I believed to be the culprit. Since I built the machine back on ’05, I don’t think I had done anything more vigorous that just stick the vacuum hose on top of the fan blades and giggle as it made the fan spin. So I unbolted the fan and levered it off. Which was instantly follow by a brown stained shorts creating moment when I realised I had also levered the CPU out of it mounting bracket due to the thermal paste’s might of holding +1000 ability. A very close inspection showed no bent pins and the gaping green pieces of PCB that I could see were designed into the Socket 939 chipset and not the remnants of where I had ripped some out.

By now my heart beat had returned to something close to normal, so I carefully levered the CPU off the heatsynch base and stuck it back in the socket. This freed me up to inspect the heatsynch closer and it was then that I realised that my giggle laden vacuum hose sucking efforts (wow that could be taken the wrong way!) had been exceedingly less effective that I had imagined.

The top inch and a half of the heat synch fins were impacted with dust, a solid layer of it. The base of the fins also had another layer, this one only about half an inch. So when you consider the entire assembly sans fan is about 2 and a half inch’s tall. That’s a buttload of space which should have currents of air being sucked through to cool those fins, rather than suffocate those airways and have a semi insulation effect so that it acts more like a goose down duvet.

It took me a good 40 minutes to clean it out, during which time the batteries on the swiffer spinning anti static duster died. TWICE. The vacuum cleaner ironically overheated and stopped working. And I blew air through my mouth so many times that my cheeks started to hurt. But I eventually got it all out. There is a base coat still on everything but unless I break out a wire pipe cleaner or brush it aint going anywhere.

I then spent about 5 minutes swearing at two little plastic clips which I at the same time was working carefully not to break, yet wished with all my heart for their destruction and the long and painful death of their designer. These clips were for the CPU heatsynch mount to lock itself to the mobo. MOST. RETARDED. DESIGN. EVER!

The PC is now whisper quiet again, and I can hear Lost in all its glory. Which in many ways has become more annoying that the assut to my ear drums that the CPU fan used to be.

I have just started in on series three and have to say that the sh!t going down with the “Others” is very interesting. Yet I am constantly amazed and extensivly frustrated the reason that so much bad stuff happens is because no one tells each other the full story. Or even half of it. Its like they get some sort of perverse sexual pleasure by withholding information from one another. “Yeah withholding info killed those people, whoopsies I should have told you earlier when you were asking me about that really important thing that I knew could have killed people. Who’d have thunk it?”

Have to say that I am very happy with my decision to stop watching it until the end was in sight because id have blown my stack multiple times if I had been watching it weekly like everyone else. Because the writers seem to have deliberatly gone out of their way to demonstrate in multiple situations and painstaking detail how retarded their characters truly are. The only way they could end the show on a good note from some of the things I have seen, is to make sure everyone dies so I can breath a sigh of reliefe that there si no chance of their stupidity entering into the fictional TV gene pool.


Growing up. You don’t notice it until things have already changed.

I realised today that some of my core priorities have changed over the last 10 years. Things that used to be vitally important to me, no longer hold as much significance, and things which 10 years ago I would have mercilessly made fun of other people if  they had told me they liked, are drawing my interest quite significantly. The thing that really brought this home to me was the fact that I was “rationalising” my porn collection so that I could use that freed up space for BBC Planet Earth HD episodes.

That porn collection had been sacred to me for quite some time. I am notoriously lazy when it comes to backing things of importance up, yet I always had a redundant backup of it, which I would sync up every few weeks depending on the cool things I might run across on my travels through the interwebs. But with streaming media I really didn’t need to save it anymore.

I hadn’t consciously thought about this until I looked up after freeing 15 Gigs of HDD space and being hit with the thought that If i had lost that same 15 Gigs to a bad sector on a HDD even two years ago I’d have had a good cry over the lost treasures which would never see the light of day again. Yet I had just finished a power session of self inflicted carnage, so I could watch puffins jump around on some rocks in High Def.

I’m not sure if I like the new me.

Its a dirty job. Thank god I don’t have to do it.

I have to say, I am really caught up in this little TV show called Dirty Jobs hosted by Mike Rowe. If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing it i highly recommend making the necessary adjustments to your life to rectify that rather large issue. Its a great show, all centered around this one guy who mucks in (with apparently his whole heart for a day), on a job he has never done before, and is one that the majority of people would run, screaming in horror away from.

The humor that Mike brings to the show, his ever present self assurance that he is going to die doing some inane activity, like scooping cow manure from a vat into a bucket or some other crazy situation. Genuinely brings a smile to my dial. He is fairly fearless in the activities he takes on, and doesn’t pull any of the expected ” Do you know who I am? I ain’t doing that!” BS that you would expect from any entertainment personality when presented with the situations he has been. He utterly puts to shame that UK show “Im a celebraty, get me out of here.” Those guys are wimps pretending in a carefully stage managed situation. Mike and the crew of Dirty Jobs go totally Gonzo, filming everything as it happens in all its filthy glory, never once turning away from the action, as any other same person would.

Ive been going through the back catalogue of episodes and I have to say that what ever they pay him and the fantastic team who work with him to bring a show about some of the most disgusting things you could imagine, into your lounge room and make it entertaining, just isn’t enough. The team of Dirty Jobs are worth their weight in gold. Also one of the best things about the show is that it makes a hero out of the little guy, the guy who quietly goes about his chores in what we would all consider hell, so that we the privileged can do what we do. Quite often the people who Mike is working with are characters in their own right, and would fascinate, if you bumped into them in a pub and asked them what they did.

As long as you could get over yourself enough to not instantly dismiss them. Which is what most everyone does every day, and its to their detriment. Because these people are for the most part some of the most honest, strange, friendly, passionate, salt of the earth, people you could meet. I cant count the number of times after watching the horror show that is their job they turn around to Mike with a big smile on their face and say they love their job after he tells them he doesn’t know how they do it.

Go out there and watch the show people, better yet if you know of a job that inspires horror, and just thinking about it requires a few hours in the shower trying to clense yourself of the thought. Drop them a line and suggest that Mike comes out and give it a go. Who knows you might even get on TV.

Hey someone’s noticed my blog!


Cosplay Done Right is attracting roughly 20 spam comments a day. The bots are going hard. I had been managing it by manually removing each comment, but that was a serious pain in the arse. So have called in the help of a few plugin’s.  But you know, its kinda nice to know that the blog has been noticed. Even if it was by an automated search program which then unleashed wave upon wave of bot comment attacks. Maybe at some point in the future they will be replaced by real readers.

Other than defending the site from the tidal wave of bots, I have been doing a lot of research on big screen TV’s. I had promised myself a while back that once i had paid off the car that i would get myself a proper 21st century TV. I have been waiting a while, to join this new age of moving image’s being displayed on screens that weigh less than 90Kg’s. Sadly I forgot a little something. That being the car needs to be inspected to pass for registration, then get re-registered and re-insured. All up it looks like it will cost me about a grand.

So i wont be joining the 21st century quiet yet. But its close…. ish. 


Never do thing’s by halves.

I am planning on spending Christmas and New Years over seas for 2010/2011. This is a direct result of the utter pain in the arse these holidays have become for me with my family. I simply can not stand another year where I hold my tongue on the numerous selfish, stupid, and calculated acts my Aunt perpetrates through out the year which are born due to her laziness, and sense that everyone should do everything for her.

As a result of her behaviour her children are in some ways worse, and better than she is. Which makes me not inclined to spend time with them unless I have to for “family harmony.” I don’t hate Christmas, please don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of Christmas, and all that it entails. It’s just the ideal of Christmas has never been something my family has achieved and has now become something more akin to a sick joke.

All of which has led to the decision that this year will be different. This year, I’ll be spending Christmas in Japan! While New Years will be in Hong Kong! After which I will also be heading over to South Korea. I have booked my holidays with work, so for three and a half weeks straddling Christmas I will be out of the country and untroubled by any of the Bull Shit i normally have to deal with at that time. Plus its going to be cold! There will be snow! It will truly be a white Christmas. I am seriously looking forward to it. To achieve this will mean a lot of money saved through out the year. A lot of things gone without. But it will be worth it.

Now I have never been to Japan, Honk Kong, or South Korea so am reliant on those who have, and what I can find in various travel, gadget, and food related websites to guide me on what to see and do when I visit. When I have told other people of my plans, the first thing they ask me is ” Do you speak Japanese?” or its variant for Korean. The answer to this is no. Not a word. Usually they respond with, ” Oh that should be ok, pretty much everywhere has people who speak English.” Which for the most part is true to a small degree. But there are two problems with this statement and what they are inferring.

Firstly that the person you ask directions of is one of those people who in their own country which does not natively speak English, actually does speak English. The second problem is while they might speak English it may not be fluently, and in some asian cultures if you are not perfect at something then you do not admit to being able to do it. So that person might refuse to reply as they do not want to lose face by replying and making a mistake. While we all have the example of those “charming” americans who navigate their way around the world for a million dollars in the Amazing Race. For people to travel anywhere with only English as their language and still find the places they need, and see the things they want. Its not something I want to try and recreate.

So i have started leaning Japanese and Korean. At the same time.

I am using a product called The Rosetta Stone, which is used by the US military and many large corporations to teach non native speakers other languages as if they were their own. I’ll be doing the full courses which take around a year to complete. I’ll also be trying to track down some of those learning tapes/mp3’s that you play at night while you sleep to get the language into your subconscious.

As a young child I had an ear for languages and accents don’t normally hold too much of a problem for me if I hear it often enough. Coming home from holidays overseas as a kid i would always be accused of being a tosser for talking with an accent I hadn’t realised I had picked up. I also went to a french school for about a year when i was still little where they would hit you with a ruler if you said ANYTHING in English while on the school grounds. So I pretty quickly picked up the things i needed to know to speak to my teacher and the other children.

I am about half an hour in with both the Korean and Japanese courses and as I had expected the content is pretty much the same. Its only the languages which are different. So its looking deceptively doable to pick both languages up, and be fairly conversant by the end of the year. I intend to spend an hour or two each night working through them. I am sure that i wont be successful in doing it every night. But its a goal.

So far I can identify the difference between the words for boy and girl, man and woman, eating, reading or running in both languages when someone says it. I can mimic them to some degree but only once I have heard them a few time. Which realistically after half an hour isn’t too bad at all. Plus a few words in both languages HAVE actually stuck. Mainly the words for water and juice. In Japanese water is Mizu (pronounced Me-Zoo), and juice is Juusu   (pronounced Jew-sue). In Korean water is Mool/ Mul ( pronounced Buh-ll ) and juice is Ju-su (pronounced Chew-siew).

So I wont go thirsty in my travels. I am sure Tommy and Mike will correct me on my pronunciation for the Korean words and in all honesty I hope they do. Because I can use all the help I can get. I said to a mate of mine on NYE that 2010 was going to be an “Interesting” year. This weekend I have made a start on the interesting part.


I have made my Avatar 3D pilgrimage.

Initially the 3D aspect put me off as I would actively try and focus on the thing which was in 3D. Usually some frond or floating bug. But the majority of the time that object was purposely out of focus which was both annoying and a great way to get eye strain. To be perfectly honest there were great swaths of the movie presented in 3D which I felt didn’t really need to be. It felt like they said ” Hey this movie is in 3D, we need some 3D content in this section, you know so people realise this movie is in 3D. That rock TOTALLY needs to be in 3D otherwise they wont get the proper 3D experience!”   

There were a few places where I thought it was fantastic, and they nearly made up for all the filler. Story wise I felt like I got what I paid for in Avatar. A Sci Fi flick where humanity shows its ugly colours. I have to agree with Cameron’s detractors in some part. Surely between the time he came up with the concept and then scripting, and then finally shooting. A better name for the mineral could have been worked out. Unobtanium is just laziness on his part. Especially when there is a whole monologue dedicated to explaining how rare the thing is.

Highlight between the spoiler tags to see some comments about other more specific plot points. 
Plus using running sequences to jump us through the three months of Jakes “training” was a bit clichéd. Yeah you got a sense of how big the tree was, and that he was learning skills. But for a movie over two and a half hours long, these three months took up next to no time at all. I did miss about 5 or so minutes of the movie due to my getting older and Movie Drink Cup sizes getting larger ( a medium coke should not be in excess of 800ml no matter where you are, if couples are too stingy to buy two cokes that’s their own business) this part I missed appeared to be in an important bit as well, between Jake being basically imprisoned by his “co-workers” and then somehow magically re-appearing to lead the indig’s in battle against the evil humans. But overall I enjoyed myself and would happily see it again.
The alien sex scene in 3D was… Interesting. I am of two minds, had this been a “human only film” then it would have been De rigueur for the two main characters to fall into this cliché consummation of forming a bond after spending a 3 months together in close contact where they learn almost everything there is to know about each other. But when the characters are not human, and unlike animals display passion and tenderness during their love making. It felt entirely too voyeuristic. I’m sure id have felt like that in the 2D version. Making it 3D added a sense of realism that very effectively made me understand why the porn industry are so “turned on” to 3D.


All in all though, it was a good movie and i don’t feel entirely put out spending 19 bucks on the ticket. I figure this is the price point movies have been heading towards for a while at the cinema. Its just now you actually get something that comes close to giving you your moneys worth.